There are so many creative solutions we can come up with for you! You can have a wedding you both look forward to, as well as enjoy the process as you put it together. For example, say Partner A is bride with a slightly impatient mother who has some “ideas” of what her daughter’s wedding should be like. Partner A herself has some cherished values that she is afraid are getting lost in the wedding rush. Partner B is a groom who is feeling a bit dazed, like a deer in headlights. How did this get so crazy so fast? He might be able to come up with some input if anyone would ask (or care), but currently, it seems safer to stay out of the way. His mother also has some of her own concerns, mainly about location and accommodations for their out of town guests. By working with me and some of my tools, the couple is able to discover what is really important to each of them and to each other. They do several exercises that allow them to “hear” their own voices and begin to really make some long-lasting and foundational decisions about their wedding day. This helps them stay in touch with their own desires, and prioritize big-ticket items to ensure they can afford the things that will make the day special to them. They discover each other’s communication styles – it turns out Partner B is merely Introverted, not willfully withholding information! Partner A learns how to ask a question and wait a few hours for a well-considered response, and Partner B agrees to offer more feedback as they go along. They brainstorm about what is “important” to them, as individuals and as a couple, and spend some quality time with each other answering some “hard” questions about money, life, and in-laws. We learn that Partner A loves to ski and that she is very active in environmental social action programs. Partner B tells us he is an avid photographer and sports fan, and loves good southern food. After three brainstorming sessions together, the couple decides to get married on a mountaintop near a favorite ski lodge in late spring. This is still good skiing weather, lodging deals abound, and yet a season when travel for family and friends will be less prone to weather delays. At the midday ceremony, family and friends form a large semi-circle around the couple in the snow (along with quite a few interested spring skiers!), presided over by a long-time family friend. There are special readings, songs from a portable CD player, and personal vows. A local sports photographer takes “action” photography of the wedding (complimented by some formal images by a family friend with a tripod down at the lodge). After the ceremony, guests gather at the lodge for a BBQ lunch buffet with music by a local band the couple had enjoyed hearing the last time they skied at the lodge. (The hot tub on the deck is well used, although kept in check by mothers-in-law!) Instead of giving favors, the couple donates to a forest protection organization in guests’ names. Parents on both sides are amazed at how relaxed and fun an event it turns out to be. Everyone says how well it reflects the couple, how personal and special it has been to attend. The couple has stories galore to tell for years to come. By working together, communicating and making joint decisions, the couple has built the foundations for a happy marriage, reaching well beyond their wonderful and meaningful wedding day! Read some Praise from couples. Cindy Matchett, Celebrant .. PO Box 420, Harvard, MA 01451 .. (978) 263-5937 info@meaningfulweddings.com © 2005 Cindy Matchett